So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
