$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
