He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
