Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
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