i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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