I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
