I wish my penis had an off switch
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
