dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize