I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize