Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
