Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
