I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
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