why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Randomize
