$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Randomize
