im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
