walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
