Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I know her cup size but not her name....
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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