Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Randomize
