omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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