Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
