Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize