The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Randomize
