I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Randomize
