Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
