Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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