I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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