this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
