i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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