I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
