there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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