You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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