Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
