Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Someone came in the potted fern
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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