Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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