is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
