dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize