its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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