Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
