..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
