yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Randomize
