It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
try to milk me bitch
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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