Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
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