Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
