Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
