i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
