the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
