Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I am naked and annoyed.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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