I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
