is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
did i walk over a car last night?
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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