your room smells of hookers.
And success
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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