I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Randomize
