the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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