I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
