My first STD was from a foam party
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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