Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
