your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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