We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Randomize
