It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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