I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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