I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
