dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
