Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Randomize
