Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
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